Improve your dating technique by understanding common mistakes people make. Game playing: This strategy is usually employed for one of two reasons. When it comes to dating, everyone, on some level, fears rejection.Playing it cool and not getting too involved may make you feel safe, but you risk coming across as aloof or remote, and may turn the other person off.For example, telling someone you love him or her so they will sleep with you, and then not calling them again.This form of manipulation is simply unacceptable (to put it mildly), and does not lead to healthy relationships.We don’t want to “settle,” and the quest for the perfect mate can cause us to overlook or undervalue a truly good partner.Alternatively, we might be so fearful of getting hurt, betrayed or rejected, that we exit stage left just as the play gets going. Do you plunge into the deep end, only to find that the water is way too cold? Getting overly involved too soon is a big red flag.
This can lead to pitfalls of setting up unrealistic expectations and subsequent disillusionment, or depression if the relationship doesn’t work out. Obsessing over details: This one is common with those who worry.The worry may be a general habit, but now it is turned on the subject of the relationship: worry about what the other person said, worry about what they meant by it, worry about how you reacted, worry about the relationship not working out, worry about what if it does work out, how will your parents react…on and on.Being anxious is a mood killer, and will not make you attractive to a potential mate. Try to tap into your self-confidence and trust that if the relationship is meant to work out, it will. Ignoring red flags: If someone doesn’t show up when you’re supposed to meet, that’s a red flag.Don’t keep making the same mistakes: If you need help in improving your relationships and your life, Therapy can help. Allison Kahner and CTA therapists have been helping clients improve their lives for years.Sometimes, it can be very tricky to try to find out what is going wrong in your relationship.If they don’t let you call them at home, yep, red flag. Of course, there are more subtle warnings that one may be tempted to overlook, especially if one is eager for the relationship to work out.While one shouldn’t jump to conclusions without sufficient evidence on the first problem that arises, an emerging pattern is not something to make excuses for or brush under the rug.In the first 3-6 months of a relationship, you are likely running on oxytocin, which is a chemical found in chocolate.It creates the sense of well-being and euphoria that comes with “falling in love.” This might as well be dubbed the period of temporary insanity, because you are not in command of all your faculties; your brain is hijacked by those lovely chemicals, interfering with your ability to think clearly.Often people tend to do this if there is a problem with low self-esteem.Valuing yourself enough to put your needs on the table as well as the other person’s is key in establishing balance and harmony.