The unfortunate result of this, of people automatically putting you in the “undateable” category because of your bodily difference, is that you may start believing it yourself.
If you’re like me, you might begin to internalize the negative expectations that some doctors, teachers, parents, and others project onto you.
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I’m not going to lie – undoing that internalized ableism and recognizing your own ability to find love is difficult; but for me, that confidence was necessary.
Finding someone who doesn’t instantly write you off is like searching for the Holy Grail.
Even on dating sites geared specifically toward people with disabilities, that baggage from always being told we were less than our abled peers clouds our relationships with each other.
That baggage is so heavy that it even follows you long after you enter a relationship. I recognized those negative thoughts that told me no one would find me desirable; I let them pass through me, and pressed on steadfastly.
When she does discover negative or suspicious activity by someone, that person is pulled aside & talked to by Louise herself, given a few chances to change their ways, & if things still continue, they are removed.Our own Erin Hawley explains that finding the right partner isn’t easy, and it can be especially hard when you have a disability. Many believe the biggest barriers stem from society’s often-skewed views of our capabilities and what it means to be disabled.The stereotype is one of loneliness; we don’t even have friends, except when an abled person takes us under their wing as a charity case.My limbs are contracted, so I have limited range of motion.People found me physically attractive all the time (because I am gorgeous and photograph damn well), but they didn’t want to “deal” with the other stuff. You should go on a dating site for your kind.” If you are disabled and just venturing into the online dating world, expect this – a lot.I could write a book about all the creepy, negative e-mails I’ve received while dating – everything from first messages of “hi, can you have sex? Or expect a low response rate; honestly, I prefer that to the skeevy messages.At this point, you may be wondering how I found my boyfriend, since I’ve painted online dating as a barren hellscape. After two failed, long-term relationships and a slew of terrible dates following, I was ready for a break.My disability is an integral part of my identity, and he accepts and loves that about me, as I accept and love him. It makes you feel vulnerable, and constantly tests your inner strength.You will get your heart broken in ways you never thought possible (or you could be the luckiest person ever – in which case, rock on).Many are shocked to learn that people with disabilities have active social lives and romantic relationships, including sexual ones – gasp!There are limited resources for people with disabilities when it comes to dating and relationships, including sexual and reproductive health.