"I asked for, and got, a check 30 days after my husband left," she says.
Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are.Also, inform your child's teacher of the new situation, but don't automatically put your kid in therapy. Annie, 47, from Boston, felt like she didn't have any talents, besides caring for her kids, before divorcing in 2007."It can leave him feeling stigmatized or reinforce that the divorce is his fault," says Doares, though therapy's a good option if the behavior change is extreme. She now has a blog, Plenty Perfect.com, and sees new directions her life can take.Your kids won't tell you how they really feel about the divorce, but their behavior will. So monitor your kids' actions to understand how they're dealing."Children feel a sense of responsibility for the breakup no matter how much the parents state it wasn't about them," says marriage and family therapist Lesli M. Watch out for little ones regressing in their behavior—acting younger, wanting to sleep in bed with you—or showing anger toward siblings and peers.Kids of divorce can feel they've been hit the hardest by the end of their parents' relationship.Some are asked to broker peace between warring exes, even as they are grieving the loss of a parent who has abruptly moved out.So get as much information as you can about your shared accounts to be well-informed before court.Specifically, "learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors," says Newman. Your financial well-being should be your top priority, says divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank.Adolescents tend to act out by drinking, skipping school or disobeying curfews.To get things back on track, Doares suggests addressing issues as a family so everyone can talk about the changes together.