I wrote a whole 280-page book about that, so that's a story for a different day. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being and therefore don't act like one.
At some point in your life, you got pegged as a smart person.
Now you could be absolutely stunning (in which case you're both smart AND pretty and everyone hates you except for me -- call me, like, immediately), but your identity is still bound up in being The Smart One.
So maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance.
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Dating is at best another extracurricular, number six or number seven down the list, somewhere between Model UN and intramural badminton.
I've been co-hosting young alumni events for name-brand schools for long enough to know that these kids come out a little lopsided (which sounds so much better than "socially awkward," don't you think? All they need is a little tune up, or a little dating textbook like The Tao of Dating for Women or The Tao of Dating for Men, to get them going -- plus a little practice.
Because heaven knows that the amoeba, worm, fish, amphibian, monkey and primitive hominids didn't do a whole lot of thinking.Their DNA had a vested interest in perpetuating itself, so it made sure that happened. And maybe when you're really sloshed at a party and your whole frontal lobe is on vacation in the outer rings of Saturn, you've noticed that your lizard brain knows exactly how to grab that cute girl by the waist for a twirl on the dance floor.Or knows exactly how to arch your back, flip your hair and glance at that handsome hunk just so such that he comes on over to say hi. By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect. Error Banner.fade_out.modal_overlay.modal_overlay .modal_wrapper.modal_overlay [email protected](max-width:630px)@media(max-width:630px).modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:before.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:before.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:before.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:hover:before. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. Left untreated, this condition can go on for decades.I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still haven't figured out how to create an intimate connection with another human being. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.Of course, as noted above, things only get worse once you graduate.And if you're frustrated with your love life, you just might try to compensate by working harder and achieving even more to fill that void.So it only makes sense that in the romantic arena, it should work the same way. The more stuff I do, the more accomplishments and awards I have, the more girls (or boys) will like me. Please say I'm right, because I've spent a LOT of time and energy accumulating this mental jewelry, and I'm going to be really bummed if you tell me it's not going to get me laid.Well, it's not going to get you laid, brother (or sister).