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Dating someone too nice

Imagine that you meet someone for the first time and you want to get to know them.You also want to have a good time, so you decide that being as amiable as possible is the best way to make this happen. If you’re not getting the results that you want from dating, it could be that you’re too I’m sure you’ve considered the possibility but don’t assume that the opposite of being too nice is being a jerk, or a bitch. In fact, being nice as it relates to dating usually means being ambivalent.Next thing, you feel trapped, guilty and eventually resentful.When you know what it’s like to have your heart broken, to feel disappointed because of that gap between your hopes and expectations and reality, and to know that something isn’t right but hoping that your nice ways will win out, it’s easy to see why you would be reluctant to do that to someone else, but it’s critical to recognise that as painful as those experiences might have been, it was the thing for the relationship to end if it wasn’t mutual.Source: Shutterstock Everyone has a physical preference when it comes to choosing a significant other.Whether it’s a specific body type, hair style, or skin complexion, we all have those one or two physical features we look for in the opposite sex, things that make us go, “Damn! ) And it just so happens that there are men out there who don’t fully tickle our fancy when it comes to their looks, but make the most considerate, attentive and loyal mates a woman could ask for. Join my private Facebook Community for FREEThis article is for anyone who struggles to get a second date.Maybe you’re not getting dates because you’re too nice.

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One of the trickiest situations can be when you know that you need to break up but you stay together or keep going back because you feel that the person is ‘too nice’ to break up with.

If you really don’t want the burden of choosing for yourself, or speaking up for yourself then you can’t ever feel powerful and that is the real problem.

It’s not anyone’s responsibility to make dating easy, or fun for you. You have to sort of make it happen by helping it along.

We also fear that by asking for something specific we miss out the other possibilities. It can feel like our desires rock the boat instead of guiding us. Your ability to say yes, to what you want and no to what you don’t is a strength.

There is also the fear that if ask for something specific and we don’t like it, we’ll be stuck with it. You have to own the ability to express those desires to people who matter to you. But other people will never put us first in dating. If you can really own this then you can shed the “nice” label for good.

45 comments

  1. Oct 26, 2011. I'll also throw out there that you're perceiving yourself as damaged somehow, and unconsciously going after women who seem damaged too. Like your mid-wife friend. That's a recipe for disaster. Intentionally dating down like that doesn't increasing your chances of finding someone who will stick around.

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