How can we encourage our single friends who are interested and open to the possibility of romance but feeling exhausted in the process of getting there?I think our first step is to resist the temptation to slide into comfortable advice and adages that we’ve heard a million times: “It’ll happen when you stop looking.” “There are a million fish in the sea.” “Don’t be so picky.” The list goes on.The generation who is promised a date as easy as swiping right is worn out by the dating process.So when the disappointment and fatigue start to pile on, what is our next step?She plopped down in the seat across from me with a heavy sigh.Two weeks, four dates yet seemingly no progress toward a significant relationship. ” But after a long line of dates that lead nowhere, it’s hard to maintain a positive perspective and even harder not to go into a first date with a tiny bit of skepticism.It might be some of these ideas and expectations that are contributing to our world of weary daters.Let’s instead lean into opportunities to listen and encourage our single friends, and to seek out truth and healthy, wisdom from people who love us when we are single and feeling discouraged.
Few people realize that most dating sites keep all users listed indefinitely, and some refuse to purge their database of old members, even if said former members have found love and deactivated their account.She was putting herself out there, making good conversation and doing all the “right” things. Right still nowhere on her radar, she was starting to feel disillusioned with the whole dating thing. In his recent book,, author and comedian Aziz Ansari interviewed hundreds of singles about their dating and romantic lives.It’s a feeling that many of us can relate to, especially if you stayed in the dating scene for much of your 20s. After asking specifically about online dating and apps, Ansari observed that a resounding theme emerging from most respondents was that they were tired..Relationships with other people are never as simple, quick and clean as we would like for them to be.We don’t say to a woman who is 20 weeks pregnant, “Well, shouldn’t you have had your baby by now?There’s no checklist or how-to book anywhere that is going to give us all the answers or a guaranteed outcome.And even though sometimes we would probably prefer that, we can find hope in knowing that God is crafting a unique story in our lives.There is no perfect formula for creating or finding love.So we can stop hustling and give ourselves a break from over-analyzing what we are or aren’t doing right.A second step is understanding that finding someone to build a meaningful relationship with, and then actually building that relationship, is a process, like so many other long but worthwhile processes.We put a lot of unnecessary pressure on our shoulders (and on our dating prospects) when we believe that romance and relationships should be an instantaneous, magnetic attraction to our one, true soulmate.