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[Kidnapping] is caused by an absence of dating skills.” Educated Kyrgyz women, such as Nuraiym Orozobekova, agree that dating methods need to be taught and women need to push back.

She became an anti-kidnapping advocate after her mother told her a family friend's son was planning to kidnap her. I decided to stop this criminal activity," she said.

Approximately one third of Kyrgyz women marry by means of non-consensual kidnapping, according to Russell Kleinbach, a sociology professor at Philadelphia University who has conducted extensive research into the custom of "kyz-ala kachuu," (or "grab and run") in Kyrgyzstan.

The rise in kidnapping in recent years is mainly economic. People returned to kidnapping because Kyrgyzstan has faced severe economic problems in the last two decades, and many villagers have been able to avoid paying a generous "kalym," (bride price) dowry and providing plentiful wedding gifts by stealing a woman. "It's an alternative for young men who were otherwise dependent on their parents to find them a bride," he said.

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If he prefers kidnapping, it just means he isn't confident enough to get a girl another way," she said. "The tradition in Kyrgyzstan was for marriages to be arranged." People in Kyrgyzstan often view bride kidnapping as an ethnic tradition, but studies show that this custom has evolved from a mutual decision into a rather violent incarnation.As a nomadic people, young Kyrgyz couples sometimes used to "elope" to avoid disapproval of their parents.The groom then went to the bride's parents' house, announced he kidnapped their daughter and offered kalym of approximately 0 in exchange for her.Although Munara didn't want to marry him, her family accepted the price and forced her to stay, because bringing a kidnapped girl back into the family home would bring an unbearable stigma."They are told from an early childhood to respect their elders and the elders are telling them to put the white scarf on their head,” she said.“It's very big psychological pressure.” "If the girl doesn't agree, she might be raped, have a baby and now she really can't leave,” said Ryskulova."Village men hardly ever interact with women," Niyazova said."They sit in a sheep market and when they see somebody they like, they will just take them.But most Kyrgyz have since settled in villages and, according to Kleinbach, "if you are in a village, kidnapping doesn't really work well." Kadyr Malikov, director of the Religion, Law and Policy research center in Bishkek said that while 80 percent of people in Kyrgyzstan are Muslim, the custom of kidnapping doesn't stem from Islam."Kidnapping or marrying without agreement is a big sin in Islam," he said.

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