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"If only my boyfriend managed to kidnap me first," she said. Few men here take a woman's pleading seriously because girls playing hard-to-get is par-for-the-course during the ritual of bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan, the mountainous Central Asian country that has suffered brutal inter-ethnic clashes since April.

Six months ago two men stuffed her into an old Lada automobile and drove her to their house. I don't want to get married," she said she screamed at them. Violence against women has also been on the rise, according to Talaigul Isakunova, an expert on gender issues who works with the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

"Village men hardly ever interact with women," Niyazova said.

"They sit in a sheep market and when they see somebody they like, they will just take them.

“And the men will sometimes say 'you never loved me anyway' which just gives them another excuse for more violence.” But not all women are unhappy in these non-consensual marriages.

Many who were kidnapped claim they went on to live a perfectly happy life.

"If a boy likes me, he will have to use another method.

Some Kyrgyz girls look forward to the time they get "chosen" by a man, but Munara, 18, already had a boyfriend and hoped to marry him.

"Islam tries to regulate the practice by only marrying couples who both agree with the wedding." But girls like Munara are typically pressured to consent.

Once she was brought into the house of the kidnapper, the matriarch of the family put a white scarf on her head, thereby proclaiming the couple married.

But most Kyrgyz have since settled in villages and, according to Kleinbach, "if you are in a village, kidnapping doesn't really work well." Kadyr Malikov, director of the Religion, Law and Policy research center in Bishkek said that while 80 percent of people in Kyrgyzstan are Muslim, the custom of kidnapping doesn't stem from Islam.

"Kidnapping or marrying without agreement is a big sin in Islam," he said.


  1. Happier Abroad Forum Community. Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan as well as east africa. ↳ Dating, Relationships, Foreign Women

  2. A detailed and in-depth article on how to meet Kyrgyzstan women today. Marriage and dating with Kyrgyzstan Women. Kyrgyz usually do arrange marriages.

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