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Well at church he introduced me to his whole family as his girlfriend — I mean parents, cousins, even grandparents.

He kept asking if I wanted to make out throughout the service.

He turned on South Park and brought in burnt, flaky grilled cheese sandwiches and a bag of tortilla chips, and we had the worst conversation.

Then we sat on his bed and he repeatedly kept trying to touch my butt.

He told me 15 minutes in that he'd broken up with his ex because she asked to sleep without his cats in bed.

He said, 'I told her the cats were there first, so she should go.' Then he invited me to his apartment for dinner and told me — very seriously — that his cat would let him know if he could date me or not.

Check out the slideshow below to see a history of the social network.

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The guy sitting next to us was laughing so hard his back was shaking."—marissad415 "We were walking around, looking for a place to eat.Finally, when it was over, he took me to 'brunch': stale doughnuts served for the youth group."—remide "The guy who asked me out worked at a garage but he didn't bother to shower before our date, so he showed up covered in grease.The whole night was awful, but I eventually gave up after he said, 'You ever hang out in hospitals? Maybe just because I'm turned on by blood.' I cannot make this shit up."—colleenh49 "I went on a Tinder date at a coffee shop.He originally said he worked on Wall Street, but was actually a 'work-from-home consultant,' which I learned meant he was unemployed.Then he went on about how he was addicted to artificial sweeteners and ordered them online all the time.I don't think it would have been THAT awkward if it weren't for his intense hand-squeezing during the sex scenes of the film."—wats0436 "He invited me to his house where he was supposed to cook me dinner.When I arrived, he asked for a ride to Ikea because he'd just sold his dining room table on Craigslist and needed another. So I drove him, and when we got back to his place, I watched TV with his roommate's girlfriend while he made dinner.No second date."—Erica Sloan, Facebook "I planned an OKCupid date with this guy, but he didn't show up until hours after we'd originally said we'd meet.We ate and went to my house, and he turned on my PS4 to play God of War by himself, demanding I rub his back while he played.I had my sister text me that she needed me for something ASAP."—jessicab4 "I met this guy from online to go for a walk.We stopped to admire the scenery, and out of nowhere he started LICKING MY FACE. We continued walking — why didn't I run away, you ask? We finally came to a bench and I sat on the opposite side in fear that I was going to be licked again. I don't think I've ever run as fast as I did that day."—Ashley Conrad, Facebook "We were supposed to go to brunch, but when he came to pick me up, he said we were going to church.

40 comments

  1. This was inspired through a conversation with a friend after watching the nightly news discuss myspace and internet dating. Read the short story free on Booksie.

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